Sei loh bo internet~~

30 years ago, you would never see anyone who would jump off the Penang bridge or any high rise building when Pos Negara announced the breakdown of the nationwide postage and telegram service. Even Telekom could not pull out such a big stunt that could mar anyone into pulling a bigger suicidal stunt.

That was the past.

10 years from now, it is very likely that you will read news that people will jump off from, what?? a 3 storey building just because of sudden internet disconnectivity, and big lawsuits and torts are crunching through the corridors of TM Net building.

And the funny fact is, the cheapskate guy who jumps from a 3 storey flat or apartment, could very well be my 3 year old son - or daughter. That is the future.

Ladies and gentlemen, beggars and idiots alike, crappers and the sleepy-heads - I present to you 2018, just 2 years short of Vision 2020 which will mark the highest suicide rate of internet- and computer-related problems in Malaysia which could very be much higher than Japan if TM Net has yet to improve its service and WiFi and WiMax etc have reached skyrocketing fees to cash profits on the les misérables.

Lets get back to 2008. This decade has seen the increased dependency and vulnerability of today's granduncles and grandaunties youngster towards the internet. Simply saying, this generation, we are crippled when we are unable to connect to infinite matrix of the internet. We feel more heartache when we could not log in to Windows Live Messenger than being rejected straight to the face by our partners. In some severe cases, we feel isolated from civilisation when we are not connected to the internet although we are in a crowded mall of a densely-populated urban city. We perceive the 7 billion of worldwide population lives in the internet and not on earth. Ok, that's ironic.

When the wonders of internet was introduced in Malaysia in mid 1990s and my parents got a 58K dial-up connection installed at home with a newly bought PC running on Pentium 1 processor, everyone was fighting over the connection. Though it was only 56K, everyone was happy and it was enough. And they live NOT happily ever after. The end~

WRONG! We wanted more - more speed, more capacity, more chat programmes, more free downloads, more networks, more cheatcodes and cracks, more websites, more porno websites, blah blah etc - we WANT MORE!

And Jeng Jeng Jeng - here comes the Age of Empire Broadband where internet is redefined into a whole new level with an array of brand new sophisticated services and abilities. Almost everything electronic can be connected to the internet and controlled faraway including dildos and you know...but still, WE WANTED MORE. And TM Net has come up with a programme to educate consumers to suppress their ever-lustrous need of higher bandwidth by delivering a lower one than is paid and promised.

An accidental flick which kills the connection in various parts could very well send millions of people submitting into depression and thousands other flocking towards counselling centres and psychologists who will not believe they are raking tonnes of money from the virtual state of emergency. Economy will be immobilised and nations would be plunged into an extreme chaotic mayhem until God thinks it is too messy for him to handle that he just kills Noah and make a pact with Lucifer to wipe all humans from the face of the earth. And earthlings will blame the disconnection of the internet for their extinction since God would be unable to disseminate news about Armageddon to His children. Miracles would even need to be delivered using Gmail or Yahoo!.

Ok, I need to call TM Net now ~!@#$%^&*+=